How Top Performers Get People to Buy In | #54

By Armaan Athwal

Today's Overview:

• How top performers inspire rather than just lead

• Connection through emotion, trust, and use storytelling

• Quote of the day

Building Buy-In

Persuasion is one of those skills we all wish we had a better handle on. Whether you’re pitching an idea at work, rallying a team, or just trying to convince a friend to join you on an adventure, it’s like there’s an art to getting people genuinely on board. And for those who excel at it? Turns out, they have a few tricks up their sleeves.

What really sets top achievers apart from everyone else? A study done by Daniel Goleman, a psychologist known for popularizing emotional intelligence, looked into this question by analyzing how emotional and social skills impact workplace success.

Goleman found that high performers don’t just excel at technical skills, they have a unique ability to connect with others, gain trust, and inspire action even without formal authority.

According to Goleman, those who rise to the top aren’t necessarily the ones who work the hardest or log the most hours, they’re the ones who leverage emotional intelligence to bring people together and get them to believe in a common vision.

So, how do they manage it? Here are three key ways top performers use emotional intelligence to persuade others, with examples of how it looks in real life.

1. Get Them Mad—Then Show Them the Fix

The first trick? Stir up a little emotion. People aren’t persuaded by facts alone, they’re driven by how those facts make them feel. Top performers know that getting buy-in starts by stirring up a little tension.

But here’s the catch, don’t leave it there. Once you’ve tapped into a frustration or fear, give your audience something to be excited about, a solution that makes them feel relief or even joy.

Think about it like this: Ever been annoyed with how much time you spend on email? Let’s say someone proposes a new tool to manage emails that promises to cut your inbox by 50%. If they just started by talking about the tool, you might not care. But if they first remind you of how draining it is to be glued to emails all day, and then present their solution, suddenly you’re intrigued.

2. Build Trust First

Ever tried to persuade someone who just wasn’t having it? There’s a reason: they didn’t trust you. Building trust is the foundation for any kind of influence. Top performers start by creating a relationship and demonstrating that they’re reliable, even before they pitch their ideas.

When leading a team, instead of coming in with all the answers, start by asking open-ended questions like, “What do you think would make this project a success?”

Let everyone share their thoughts and make sure to recognize each person’s contributions, big or small. By the time you introduce your own ideas, the team feels invested and ready to jump in because they know you valued their input.

3. Use Stories to Paint a Vision

Finally, storytelling isn’t just for novelists, it’s one of the best tools to get people on board. Top performers know that humans are wired for stories, not spreadsheets. Sharing an idea through a story lets people see it, feel it, and imagine themselves as part of it.

Imagine you’re proposing a change to how your team collaborates. Instead of listing features of a new platform, try telling a story about how someone on another team used it to cut down their project time by half. When people hear how it worked for someone else, they’re much more likely to get excited about giving it a try themselves.

Quote of the Day

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” - Theodore Roosevelt