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- It’s OK to Be Selfish (Sometimes) | #81
It’s OK to Be Selfish (Sometimes) | #81
Protecting your time, energy, and peace
Armaan Athwal
May 20, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes
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By Armaan Athwal
It’s OK to Be Selfish (Sometimes)
View the archive: https://road2growth.beehiiv.com/archive
Approximate read time: 5 Minutes
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There’s this weird tension between wanting to live a life true to yourself and feeling like you constantly have to meet others’ expectations.
And sometimes, it’s an understandable case of being on the brink of collapse. You’re overwhelmed, drained, barely holding it together. In those moments, you have to focus on yourself. It’s like what you hear in aviation safety: “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.” If you can’t breathe and become a liability yourself, you’re not much use to anyone else.
But other times, it’s not even that you’re struggling. It’s just that you start noticing how much of your time and energy is being spent not on your own life. You’re not miserable, but something feels off. Like you're always showing up for everyone but yourself.
That’s why this conversation between Chris Williamson and Naval Ravikant stuck with me:
CHRIS WILLIAMSON: I would say from the bit of time that we’d spent together, you have a really interesting trait of holistic selfishness. You’re sort of prepared to put yourself first. You seem largely unfazed by saying or doing things that might result in other people feeling a little bit awkward if it’s truthful for you. It’s like unapologetically self prioritizing, I guess.
NAVAL RAVIKANT: Yeah, I think everybody is, maybe unapologetic is the part that’s relatively rare, but I think everybody puts themselves first. That’s just human nature. You’re here because you survive, you’re a separate organism.
CHRIS WILLIAMSON: Interesting. I’m maybe, but I know we like to virtue signal and pretend we’re doing it for each other. How many times does somebody say, “Yeah, of course, I’d love to come to the wedding.” They’re like, “I don’t want to be at the fucking wedding.”
NAVAL RAVIKANT: I don’t go to weddings.
CHRIS WILLIAMSON: But this is my point. Right. So I don’t think you’re necessarily right with that. I think that people don’t put themselves first. I sometimes think that they compromise what it is that they want in order to appease socially what’s in front of them.
NAVAL RAVIKANT: I just view it as everyone’s wasting their time on it. Don’t do something you don’t want to do. Why are you wasting your time? There’s so little time on this earth. Life goes fast, what is it, four thousand weeks that’s your lifespan? And yes, we hear that, but we don’t remember it, but I guess I’m keenly aware of how little time I have, so I’m just not going to waste it.
I find this so true.
We all know this. We say it constantly, life is short, don’t waste it, live for yourself. YOLO has literally been one of the most popular acroynms for over a decade now, and it’s basically trying to say the same thing: you only live once, so don’t waste it on the things that don’t matter to you.
That doesn’t mean you bulldoze people or act like you’re the only one who matters. But it does mean taking your time, energy, and emotions seriously. Protecting your attention. Saying “no” a little more. Letting your goals, not other people’s expectations shape your day.
At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with your mind. Your emotions. Your path.
So maybe it’s not selfishness. Maybe it’s just self-respect.
Quote of the Day
“I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me, if I do that well enough, then I'll be able to look after someone else -- the children or the husband or the elderly. But I have to look after myself first. I know that some people think that's being selfish, I think that's being self-full.”
- Maya Angelou
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